Our prompt?
To write a poem comparing a snake to something it isn’t usually compared to.
In 8 lines.
Which means I basically broke all the rules.
But here goes….
Small World
By Liz Garton Scanlon
The snake as metaphor spells out the length
(the tight twistiness ) of a garden hose
the forked tongue Vicky and the other girls
use in the locker room at school
the skin the child sheds, becoming
the adolescent, becoming herself.
The snake as metaphor tempts in the garden
rattles a desert warning, swallows life whole.
Nobody mentions the organs lined up thin and narrow
as kindergartners, beating, breathing, trying to fit in
to a world nearly impossibly small.
Want to read more??
Tricia
Sara
Tanita
Laura
Rebecca
Andi
And here’s Poetry Friday! Hurrah!
Oh, Liz, this is fabulous! Such a great transition from adolescents to kindergartners – the growth, the changes, the shedding and developing! Brilliant!
Nobody mentions the organs lined up thin and narrow
as kindergartners, beating, breathing, trying to fit in
to a world nearly impossibly small.
Wow Liz–talk about a comparison that’s never been done. I love the idea of kindergartners finding the world too small.
This entire poem is a series of new metaphors. My favorite, as I wrestle middle grade novels into sense, is
the skin the child sheds, becoming
the adolescent, becoming herself.
…but I’m awfully partial to organs all lined up and narrow, trying to fit in… impossibly small…
Yowza. You SAY you’re going to talk about all the old metaphors….and then you sting us with that ending. Oh, my. This is Liz Hall of Fame.
Oh my goodness! It starts out so familiar and then…
rattles a desert warning, swallows life whole.
Nobody mentions the organs lined up thin and narrow
as kindergartners, beating, breathing, trying to fit in
WoW!
What a foreboding warning you offer us here–while also drawing us in,
“rattles a desert warning, swallows life whole. Wonderful image too, thanks Liz!
That ending! Wow
Even a little older, my youngest granddaughter, though saying she likes school, would be your creative example at the end. She sheds that school skin as soon as she arrives home, doing more ‘important things’ (her words). Wow, the snake’s journey fits beautifully.
How clever! It starts out so familiar and then sneaks up on me with surprise.
I love all the metaphors in this poem, but the one that hits me in the heart is the forked tongue. Having taught middle school, I saw this a lot, and boy is it painful.
So many amazing things in this one.
I love poems like this one that send me on a quest to learn more. I had never wondered about snake’s organs, but after reading your poem, I just had to know! (for others in the same situation, you’ll find a quick lesson on snake anatomy here: https://animals.howstuffworks.com/snakes/snake1.htm) Thank you, Liz!