Arthur Sze is our current — and 25th — Poet Laureate, and I couldn’t be gladder that Sara suggested we explore his work as our February prompt because I knew nothing about him, and now I do! Now, when I say “prompt,” well… this was an exceedingly loose assignment. We could take any Sze poem at all, we could mirror or echo it or be in conversation with it. We could use or not use any particular form or address any particular theme.
But Sara did share this glorious quote by Sze to get us started:“We’re not writing in competition—we’re all trying to create poems, and they’re all shining light on each other.” So, toward that end, I took the poem Downwind and played with it in two different ways.
First, I mimicked the structure of Sze’s poem. His refrain (“When the air clears after days of smoke”) made me think about what it meant to conversationally and relationally “clear the air,” so my refrain is a variation based on that idea. I also used three stanzas of seven lines each, like he did, and in the second line of each stanza I pulled from his poem the phrases “you yearn,” “you notice,” and “you believe.”
Downwind II
After Arthur Sze
By Liz Garton Scanlon
When the air clears after days of silence,
you yearn to say everything at once,
you open your mouth and let words
pool around your feet like leaves
or a loosened robe – tender, forgiving,
shot from the same canon as the silence
but landing, from this distance,
with much less force.
When the air clears after days of silence,
you notice it still has a little heat to it,
the sulfurous specter hovering under
and around the conversation like a cat,
a serpentine cat that could trip you up,
even as you forget what happened, who lit
the fuse, how things flashed and banged.
When the air clears after days of silence,
you believe words could become songs
dissolving any corrosion left behind,
but the inhale catches in your throat
and there’s no melody waiting for you,
no birdsong to mimic, so you fall
silent again, for an extra measure or two.
My take two is a golden shovel poem, using Sze’s words”when the air clears after days of smoke” as my striking line. I don’t think it needs more introduction than that.
Downwind III
After Arthur Sze
By Liz Garton Scanlon
The child learns the difference between a question (who, what, when),
a comment (oh, wow, whoa), and a connection (this is almost like the…)
Meanwhile, every emotion in the world hangs in the air
ignored, like October’s skeletal leaves. The teacher clears
his throat and his eyes well up, but he says nothing after
that, not a thing through his lips for days and days
even though the child has a question (is this me, am I of
this?) and a comment, too: I feel as see-through as smoke.
I hope you’ll have a look at what my pals have done, and also check out some more of Sze’s work yourselves.
Sara
Tanita
Tricia
Mary Lee
Laura
Margaret Simon is hosting Poetry Friday this week (thank you, Margaret!) and, if you’d like to write with us next month, we’re going to be writing Ovillejos! Wheeee!
Liz, these are just outstanding. I love the first one especially, with its beautiful rhythm and the way it captures the disagreements we have, even inside of deep, loving relationships. I love how there’s the cannon and then the flash and bang in the first two stanzas. And in the third, instead of the melody we’re hoping for, there’s still that bruised silence, at least temporarily. I feel so tender about this poem and its narrator. I just want to hug it.
Oh, Liz!!! That “you notice it has a little heat to it” is an amazing line because it so echoes the reality of how it takes a bit to cool down after a spat. So much inspiration and beauty here!
The first one holds such truth about relationships. The way the air clears slowly. The myriad ways things could explode again (love that cat!).
But the second one. Oof. So much that is hard for teachers both to ignore and to talk about. So many children left wondering, left needing to speak their truths.
Liz, These thoughts caught my attention. “Meanwhile, every emotion in the world hangs in the air ignored.” “I feel as see-through as smoke.” These lines could form another poem and benefit so many people. Your work is filled with such amazing internal thoughts to reflect upon. PS: thank you for the comment on my blog post. I added a draft poem for your February challenge after you stopped by.
#PoetryPals
Agree with Laura. Both are outstanding. The first, so true and nuanced and relatable. Love how you not only mimicked Sze’s structure but also captured the progression of emotions so powerfully. And the second, could feel the emotional weight of internalizing what has not been said but one yearned to hear.
Oh! This poem lent it self to so many great directions! I LOVE the idea of an argument as the smoke that clears — that sinuous cat still lurking, just waiting for you to step wrong and fall all over again. That little inhale catches in your throat… keeps you silent for another measure… how truly that phrase sees…
These are both so beautiful, Liz. I especially like the structure of the first one. Now I want to read more of Sze’s work. Thank you.
I exhaled an umph! After reading your first poem. Those silences, whatever has caused them, can ruin relationships. That last stanza with the song metaphor is simply masterful.
oh, my goodness…silence landing louder than words pooled at my feet. Yes.
I love where your first poem went — to relationships that need repair and how words need air.
Wow, wow, wow! I love these, Liz. The first one has such a piercing reality to it. Love the lines:
even as you forget what happened, who lit
the fuse, how things flashed and banged.
And the Golden Shovel … just as Sze’s poems are so layered, yours, too, pull us in and send us in rich directions.
Wow, and ouch, such powerful strong feeling and emotion, welled up in silence, especially in your second poem, and it stops leaving us hanging, thanks for both Liz.
I felt every word of your first poem. There is so much truth in it. And it shouldn’t surprise you how much I adore the second poem.
Liz, you had a lovely conversation with Sze. And I like the mirror of your form with Tanita’s. I also recognize that silence in my poem after my argument this week. Wow, your golden shovel is so poignant.
Liz, you are a master poet. I learn so much from your posts. Sometimes I find poems about important topics like these can use such rare and challenging words to convey their point, I can’t make my way through it and the message gets lost.
Your poems, on the other hand, are so approachable and understandable. Deeply emotional and honest. The first poem conveys that foggy time after an argument, when parties have moved on, but the memory and the emotion still hang in the air. And the second poem makes me want to give every teacher a hug for the challenging times they are trying to teach in. Thank you for sharing.
Both of these are awesome! I love the way you handled the “the…” at the end of the line too. Sometimes, I struggle with how to make those kinds of words work well and you did it beautifully!
Exquisite. So well crafted, and brimming with emotion and truth. Learning from the best brings out the best!