You may (or may not) have noticed that I slipped away from here,
sometime between Gratitude 20 and New Year’s Day.
I unplugged in a big, wallowy, snowy way.

But that’s not to say I forgot to count my blessings.
This may be cheating but I’ve been writing them down and will share them now.
I’m too lucky not to.

21. SONG. This morning (December 21st) I joined a circle of women on the top of a small hill under a cold sky to sing in the solstice. It was hypothetical since the clouds obscured the sunrise — like they had the full lunar eclipse last night, but we sang anyway and everyone lightened, visibly, before heading off to work or back to family or, in our case, to the airport. Song will do that to a day.

22. FLEXIBILITY. Not every travel day goes as planned. I am grateful for the flexibility I find in my children, my husband, my drivers to (and from and to) the airport, our housesitter and even, yes, the ticket agents. We didn’t get there the way we wanted or the day we wanted. But we got there.

23. MY SISTER. This could be a very, very long entry but suffice it to say that I miss having my sister in my daily life Every Single Day — I have ever since college, and especially when she lived oceans and time zones away from me. So when I am ensconsed with her — anywhere — things are just a little bit righter in my world. Which is how it is this morning, in her house in Montana, our children sound asleep together, the coffee in the french pot brewing, and she and I laughing together, mopping and sweeping up after the huge and entire Christmas tree came crashing down. I mean, I’m not grateful for that part (although a blessedly few number of ornaments broke), but just for being with her and her humor and her patience and her ideas and her perspective. The tree’s back up and beautiful and we have more than a week unrolling in front of us…

24. MY PARENTS. Back in the day, my mom and dad were pretty sweet skiers. They paid for season ski passes what folks now pay for daily tickets, and they set us up on rope tows when we were barely two. They skied with us, but they also skied the bowls and the steeps, the bumps and the powder. And then costs went crazy and lines grew long and my mom and dad moved to the midwest, where they cross country ski. Today, after about 20 years, they buckled up again to spend Christmas eve on the slopes with their daughters and sons-in-law and four fearless grandchildren. They are brave and spontaneous and spirited and fun-loving. And really, really sweet skiers.

25. MY DAUGHTERS. Nothing against grown ups, but waking up with kids on Christmas is really beyond compare. Anticipation and surprise swirl together into one big giddy holiday milkshake — it’d take a cold, hard heart not to want to lap it up. What’s new, though, is how deeply excited my girls are to give their gifts. Not that they don’t rip off paper with the best of them, but it was when their dad was opening his camping sink and egg container, and their grandmother her hand-sewn apron, and their auntie her only-half-finished hand-knit scarf, that they were wide-eyed and fist-clenched and on-the-edge-of-their-seats with delight. With kids like this, who needs presents?

26. MY HUSBAND. Again with the this-could-be-a-very-long entry, but this year my gratitude for my partner is a little sweeter and keener and more crystallized than ever before. Since his cancer diagnosis nine months ago, he has faced every darkness in the corner and monster under the bed. And he has faced them with his own steady strength — somehow both patient and perseverant — so much so that he served as a comfort to those of us feeling scared and none-too-steady. And now he’s alive and well and treating me to a boxing day massage and I am grateful.

27. HEALERS & CAREGIVERS. Speaking of my husband, I am eternally grateful for the love and care and science he’s been offered this year. I’m grateful for our decisive surgeon and aggressive oncologist, for our big-picture nutritionist and tender radiologist. I am grateful for the oral surgeon and massage therapist, for the nurses and technicians and home health care folks, for the swallowing therapist and the lymphedema therapist. I am grateful that we were able to trust them and that they saw us straight through and beyond the treacherous days.

28. WONDERS & WORRIES. And speaking of healers & caregivers, I am deeply grateful to the good folks at Wonders & Worries who held my hands and my daughters’ hands during this crazy journey. It is what they do. They tend to the emotional lives of children whose parents are very, very ill. They are calm and straight-forward and kid-centered and they help kids transcend the tough stuff by being in the tough stuff. They are just flat-out goodness.

29. WILDERNESS. Today we cross-country skied into a shabby little Forest Service cabin in the woods and warmed our stew on the very hot wood stove and played cards by propane lantern and now the sun’s gone dark and it’s time for bed. We live in a busy, crowded world but thanks to the wisdom and foresight of good and thoughtful people there are still pockets — some really big and beautiful pockets — of wildness. For which I’m grateful.

30. MY FRIENDS. As we pack our bags for home, I start to think about what I’m heading back to. Our house, our pets, our town. And mostly, our friends. We have been doled out more than our fair share of friends. In Austin. And all around the world. They just always seem to be at the ready for fun, companionship, help, advice, commiseration, cheer. I could be forgiven for thinking it’d all be a little bit impossible without you all….

31. MY AGENT, MY EDITORS, MY ILLUSTRATORS. We’re home and tomorrow’s a new day. A new year, technically. I love vacation but I love getting back to the work I love, too. I often talk to school kids about what it is to work at home, alone, with my slippers, my dog, my cup of tea. It is both a hard and a beautiful thing, I tell them. But I have a feeling the hard might outweigh the beauty if it weren’t for the fact that I’m not actually at home alone. I have the distinct honor and luck to make books with thoughtful, brilliant, funny, wildly creative folks and I am grateful and oh-so-happy to look ahead at another year of just that. 

And for any of you who may actually have plowed through this rather long and cumbersome list of luckiness? I’m really grateful for you, too. What a world we have and are.

Happy New Year and Namaste.