So the American Psychological Association has issued a big report on the “sexualization” of younger and younger girls, thanks to R-rated dolls, clothing, games, music and whatnot. And, linking the effects to eating disorders, low self-esteem and depression in girls and women. Oi.
Anyone find this a tad bit ironic, in the days of don’t-say-scrotum and such? We are one confused group of folk when it comes to bodies, health and sexuality.
Essayist Judith Warner answered to this report with her thoughts on mothers, and our body image and sexuality. Here’s an excerpt of what she had to say:
Excerpted from
Hot Tots, and Moms Hot to Trot
By JUDITH WARNER
NY Times
March 17, 2007
…I think it’s fair, even necessary, to wonder: how can we expect our daughters to navigate the cultural rapids of becoming sexual beings when we ourselves are flying blind? How can we teach them to inhabit their bodies with grace and pleasure if we spend our own lives locked in hateful battles of control, mastery and self-improvement?
We all tend to talk a good game now on things like body image and sexual empowerment. We buy the American Girl body book, “The Care and Keeping of You,” promote a “healthy” diet and exercise, and wax rhapsodic about team sports. But do we practice what we preach?
Not when we walk around the house sucking in our stomachs in front of the mirrors. Not when we obsessively regulate the contents of our refrigerators in the name of “purity.”
… Our girls see right through all our righteousness. And they hear the hypocrisy, too, when we dish out all kinds of pabulum about a “positive body image,” then go on to trash our own thighs.
… Maybe it’s time to take a break from bashing the media and start to take a long, hard look instead at the issue of mothers’ sexuality, which is, apparently, after a long and well-documented dormancy, enjoying a kind of rebirth — thanks, it is said, to things like pole dancing classes and sports club stripteases. These new evening antics of the erstwhile book club set are supposed to be fabulous because they give sexless moms a new kind of erotic identity. But what a disaster they really are: an admission that we’ve failed utterly, as adult women, to figure out what it means to look and feel sexy with dignity. We’ve created an aesthetic void. Should we be surprised that stores like Limited Too are rushing in to fill it? (Now on sale: a T-shirt with two luscious cherries and the slogan “Double trouble.”)
In opposing the tot-trash ethos, we shouldn’t comfort ourselves with “co-watching” TV or throwing out the Barbies. Instead, we ought to learn to find comfort inside our own skins.
What do you think? Skin comfort sounds good, hunh?
Yes, but being comfortable in one’s skin is so, so, so hard. More beach vacations would help, I imagine — more exercise, more relaxation, less media. 🙂
The other day, as I walked into Burger King, there was an image on the window of a woman in very tight pants and top, in a provocative pose. As I got closer to the door, I realized that the image wasn’t of a woman, but of a very young child — 8 to 10, I’d say. I couldn’t believe it, and wondered what the message was all about.
Don
devast.blogspot.com
I have to tell ya, this article really irked me. Yes, women need to be more comfortable with our own bodies. Yes, our girls need to see for themselves that momma really believes in what she says.
But, isn’t it interesting how this article turns things around and says, hey, don’t blame the media…it’s the moms who are having a questionable rebirth of their sexuality. Tasteless enough that retailers can swoop right in with tacky children’s clothing.
Vivian
http://hipwritermama.blogspot.com
I hear ya…
I’m with you, Vivian, on the blame game. Who needs it? And I’m really not that keen on the portion of the article devoted to strip aerobics or whatever the trend may be. But what resonated with me was the idea that even if we talk the talk, lots of still have our own baggage that we’re inadvertently putting out there for our girls to hang onto. Yes?
Re: I hear ya…
Yes, I’m totally with you on that one. It’s so true women have to be comfortable in their own skin so their girls can really see it, believe it and live it.
You got me on a day where I’ve just had it with retailers of girls clothes. Sigh. Thanks for the sounding board.
Vivian
http://hipwritermama.blogspot.com
Re: I hear ya…
No — I think you’re absolutely right to question the tone or the intent. And I absolutely don’t think we want to start letting media or marketers off the hook for putting 7-year-olds in high-heeled shoes…