Just before the holidays, I took my girls to a great big National Geographic warehouse sale.
Maps… backpacks… gorgeous, lusty coffeetable books… all at a zillion percent off.
It was sort of a globetrotter’s dream.
And it was their day to find something special, for their cousins and their grandparents and each other.
It was crowded, but not in an overwhelming or offensive way, and it was in a convention hall so the ceilings were like 80 feet high. There was breathing room.
Still. There’s always someone. Y’know?
So we’re at the last few tables, upon which there are very small things — compasses and such — so people are clustering around and squeezing in a bit. The prices are hanging on the table skirts — right where people are standing — which is ill-designed but it’s a warehouse sale so whaddya want?
My Small and Tall Ones are pressed up against the table discussing the differences between thermometers and barometers when a sort of huffing woman trying to look over and past them says, "Girls, I’d like you to please step back from the table about 2 feet so everyone can see."
I hear her say it.
I absorb it.
I look around to see if my kids are really doing anything different or less socially cooperative than other shoppers.
And then I take a deep breath and I speak up.
"Please don’t scold them, ma’am," I say. "They’re actually just looking, happily and patiently, like everybody else here."
(Well, like most everybody else here, if you know what I mean.)
And then Angry Woman says, "I didn’t scold them, I merely……."
It got all blurry in my brain at that point and I didn’t want to have a throw-down at the National Geographic sale.
Plus, I’d already stuck up for my kids, which is all I’d wanted to do, so I was done.
I stepped away, with Tall One at my side.
Unbeknownest to me, Small One hesitated.
Just for a moment.
Just long enough to hear Angry Woman say, "If she was a good mother, she’d have told them to step back herself!"
This was repeated to me by my aghast little seven-year-old a few minutes later.
"She is very, very lucky I didn’t hear her," I said, pretty aghast myself.
And, really, I’m glad I didn’t.
Because I would’ve felt compelled to respond and instead, the girls and I played with some What If scenarios and then spent the rest of the day joking about what I’d do if I were a Good Mother.
It has stuck in my craw though, and here’s why:
There is no one such thing as a Good Mother.
Some good mothers hover and some give space… some discuss everything and some make executive decisions… some insist on frequent baths and some have a high tolerance for dirt… some are solemn and some are silly… some cook and some order in… some help and some ask for help…
And that, as you know, ain’t the half of it.
And pretty much none of this is going to be apparent at the small gift table at a National Geographic warehouse sale.
We don’t know the stories and inner lives of the people we pass on the streets and bump into at shops and airports.
But it seems to me that we’d do well to give most of them the benefit of the doubt, you know?
‘Cause really, the thing that matters is that Good Mothers love their children.
Right?