A couple of folk have dropped me a line asking for an update on our remodel.
So, here goes…
The good news: We have walls, windows and lights.
The bad news: They are, apparently, boring. The walls, in particular.
I learned this last weekend in the paint aisle of the Home Depot, which is where our youngest had her most dramatic, all-out meltdown since toddlerhood. Seriously. People were skirting us like we might be contagious. I thought for a bit that the store manager might put up crime-scene tape. It was ugly.
It turns out that the paint color we chose (which is a very, very, very pale yellow — although she would insist that it is white) is horribly, appallingly, shockingly boring.
Why even DO the remodel?
What are colors even FOR?
We might as well just keep our eyes closed!!
Direct quotes, friends. Direct quotes.
Now can I just say in my defense that we have, currently, one turquoise bedroom, one red bedroom and one pale purple bathroom?
And that the new kitchen floor will be green and orange?
Green and orange!
I mean, people, do these facts count for nothing???
So, here we are in the paint aisle of the Home Depot and she is sobbing and thrusting paint chips toward me.
Paint chips of midnight blue, neon green, fuschia, rose.
I tell her that I love how much she cares about our house, and that I admire her bold sense of color.
I explain that these new walls will be serving as the backdrop to all the color we’ll add to the space.
I ask her if she will just have faith in me.
She’s having none of it.
She does not have faith.
She believes we’ve made a horrific mistake.
Which is how it is sometimes when you’re seven and somebody else is pretty much in charge of everything.
Not just what’s for breakfast, but what color is in the air as you eat your breakfast.
That kind of breaks my heart, but honestly — I don’t want my walls to be midnight blue.
I really don’t.
So instead I sit here thinking of all the myriad ways I try to make space for her and for her voice.
I think of the stacks of paper and bins of pencils and pens on her desk.
I think of the things she does choose for herself — from what to wear to what to play.
I think of the way we move around our dinner table, round-robin style, for each person’s take on their day.
Still, it’s got to be hard to be 7 and have parents who are so old & obtuse that they’d choose boring paint for the walls.
It’s got to be hard.
And I’m thinking that my job, as a mom and as a writer, is to remember that.
I have a six year old who is very much the same. She is always a good reminder of who it is I am writing for, but sometimes I think I’d like to be reminded less often.
Yes.
A little less often and maybe not in the Home Depot…
Sigh…
I dunno. I have to admire her spunk in knowing what she wants at that age and speaking up. I never would have been as brave back then. 🙂
Of course I was 49 before I ever painted a room any color other than white.
All that being said, don’t beat yourself up. You give her multiple opportunities to express herself and encourage her voice. That’s the hard part.
I totally agree.
Her bravery and passion are something to behold.
I often cower in the face of them 🙂
TadMack says: 🙂
Oh, wow. Oh, wow, oh, wow, oh, WOW. Such passion! And I, too, love her color sense!! Spectacular! (Except for the neon green. Let’s go with a nice, Spring green? A subtler lime?) I think this calls for painting a t-shirt or dyeing some overalls. Dharma Trading Company is one of my favorite companies for finding white goods of all kinds for that, and my little sister and I have had great times dyeing everything in sight.
You’re very understanding, but I’m sure you’ve done TONS to recognize her voice. A t-shirt will probably be okay!
Re: TadMack says: 🙂
You are a genius, TadMack. We may have to pull out the tie-dying gear this weekend. Genius genius genius.
And in the meantime, popsicles.
Which also so a mighty fine job won white clothing…
TadMack says: 🙂
Mmm. Popsicles. That sounds like a plan right now!
It won’t help to tell her that she can come paint MY walls, will it? I love painted walls, but I hate painting them, and we move so much that it hardly seems worth the effort. One of the reasons we are renting the place that we are is because some of the rooms were a lovely light green (my office!)
I’m sorry, but the crime-scene tape comment made me snort-laugh, though I’m sorry for your pain. My four-year-old gave me a tantrum like that the other day. If only I could think of clever analogies like that (well, then I might be a talented author like you!)
Jules, 7-Imp
Not just for kids
This melting down biz or at least the anxiety-ridden, pre-regret, obsess-o-stress syndrome with remodeling.
I agree – from my subjective purch – how wonderful that she won’t suffer quietly. Unless, of course, you’re within ear shot.
There is something about paint chips. I distinctly remember, as a child, having the same feelings about our house. We (kids) even got to pick colors for our own rooms when we remodeled, but the folks had veto power. I must have gone through 5,000 picks before we could agree on one. There is just so much potential sitting there in those little squares, so many many choices, and such vibrancy laid out for all to see! Not to mention that even as an adult I have trouble visualizing what an entire wall would look like in Midnight Blue, and as a kid of course there was no concept of ‘looks three shades darker.’ I understand from both of your points of view. It’s a tough one!
deb
I’m siding with you about nixing the midnight blue! Maybe I should send her snapshots of the paint swatches I picked up and she can help me decide what color to paint my bedroom! She’ll be happy to know that pale yellow is not a choice. ^_^
Jen