ON YOUR MARK:
Inadvertently reinforce procrastinative habits by stumbling upon a Great Idea while surfing the web.
Have two glasses of wine in honor of the G.I.
Fantasize about winning the Newbery or a Pulitzer or both.
Mull over G.I. for a few more days, looking for a good reason not to write it after all.
Clean out silverware drawer.
Consider the merits and/or contraindications of writing a book without caffeine. Drink a lot of expensive decaf coffee drinks during this deep philosophical inquiry.
Admit that you are powerless in the face of the G.I.
Surrender.
Have two more glasses of wine.
Clean out desk drawer, under the influence.
GET SET:
Go to library for research materials. Come home with a lot of cute books to read to the kids.
Set up coffee dates with other writers who know all about wine, silverware and procrastination.
Spend a whole day reading a baby name book and toying with the idea of naming the protagonist Tigress.
Realize that Tigress rhymes with digress and that the storyline has veered off course before it’s even been committed to paper.
Dream, with vivid historical accuracy, about being a nurse during World War I. Realize that it’s easier being a writer than being a nurse.
Open up a whole new document. Stare at the blank white screen.
Do not get up to get a glass of wine or a cup of coffee. Even decaf.
GO:
“Ruth tried to keep her chin up. Literally, tilted toward the top of the stairs as she headed to bed. This is her job, her mother’d said, here at home, with Father off at war. To keep her chin up. Ruth tried, but tears pooled cooly in the wells of her cheeks and she finally dropped her head to let them fall.”
OK, one cup of coffee. But don’t touch the bloody silverware…
Just don’t put that glass of wine near your computer! Good luck with the GI!
Kelly
Big A little a
wine and words…
You speak with the ache of experience, Kelly. 🙂
Thanks…
Clean Drawers
Ruth an excellent name for a protaganist. Looking forward to reading more and not finding any spoons.
Re: Clean Drawers
Ruth’s better than Tigress? Ya think?
I find that when I have cleaned my purse and am thinking about cleaning the laundry room, that I am getting really close to actually writing! I usually start a lot of new folders on my computer to organize my blank pages too!
Your post is so true and hysterically funny!
Franki
http://www.readingyear.blogspot.com
cleaning
Oh, the laundry room. That’s a good one. All that lint. Sure to distract for hours!
HI!
Hi! I’ve added you to my friends list. I read about you on Don’s blog. I had to go check out your site to see if my husband knew you in real life. He went to school with a Liz Scanlon–but we grew up in Nebraska. Looks like you’ve lived around the Midwest but never there 🙂
Re: HI!
I’ve spent more time in Wisconsin, but we drove across Nebraska every summer enroute from Colorado — in an unairconditioned Subaru. Plus, I’m mom to a daughter named after Willa Cather. I think that makes me an honorary Nebraskan 🙂
Re: HI!
Willa Cather. That’s pretty cool! The University of Nebraska has a dorm named after Willa Cather. Cather is a boys’ dorm, but I lived in that same cluster of dorms my freshman year.
Nice to meet you!
Re: HI!
nice to meet you, too 🙂
Hilarious. Great post. 🙂
If only I were kidding 🙂 Sigh…